Chapter 4: Butler and Maid – Part 2
“Hey, do you seriously plan to sleep here?”
“Of course. There’s no other choice.”Konoe gave off an obvious aura of displeasure.
Even though she was wearing boys’ clothes, she should still be against sleeping in the same room as a boy.
In front of the door to my room, Subaru-sama stood with her arms crossed and her mouth in the shape of the symbolへ.
The reason for all this was of course, Suzutsuki Kanade.
Now that Suzutsuki came to our house, we no longer had enough rooms for everyone.
There’s no doubt that she’s the incarnation of the devil. She comes just to bring trouble.
“I–I will enter now.”
Perhaps due to her nervousness, Konoe entered the room like a detective entering a crime scene. She was wearing black pajamas. I wondered if she bought them without considering her later growth, since they were a bit small – and she was holding a stuffed sheep in her hands.
Even though it had a fancy design, its tooth was serrated, and for some reason, the region around its mouth was red in color. The name of that thing was ‘The Silent Sheep’. I couldn’t help but think that it was designed like that doctor who appeared in that movie. It was a Koa-Kawaii stuffed toy. (1)
It seemed like Konoe loved this bizarre toy and couldn’t sleep without it around.
It’s okay for her to have such a girlish taste, but I can’t seem to calm down with this in the room. It’s just like the image of a Japanese woman with long hair. It somehow gives me the feeling that it will get up and start walking around in the middle of the night.
“I think it’s better for you to sleep in my mother’s room. I’ll lend the sofa in the living room to Suzutsuki.”
“Don’t be absurd. There’s no way I could let Ojou-sama sleep in such a place. That’s why I should sleep on the sofa.”
“No way. Kureha would never allowthat.”
The same line of reasoning that applied to Suzutsuki applied to Konoe as well. Kureha would say ‘We can’t let Konoe-senpai sleep in such a place!’
“Then isn’t it okay for you two to sleep in the same room?” The moment I had said that, my little sister had released a crescent moon kick straight towards my ribcage.
Ah, now that I think about it, Kureha doesn’t know that Konoe is a girl. Of course, she wouldn’t want the boy she likes to sleep in the same room with another girl in her own house.
“But even so… You don’t need to sleep in my room.”
“There’s no other way. Kureha-chan thinks I’m a boy. If I carelessly object to sleeping in the same room as you, she might find out that I’m a girl.”
That’s true, but…
To outsiders, we were both boys, so it was just something normal. Even when Kurose came over, he slept in my room. Well, we spent the whole night playing games, so it was a lot easier than this.
“To add on to that…”
Konoe glared at me.
“I’ll kill you if you do something strange.”
The order the rooms were arranged on the second floor was currently Kureha Me Suzutsuki. I was completely surrounded by them. It would not be strange if both of them were currently sticking their ears against the walls, trying to hear what was happening here.
Just try laying a hand on Konoe in such a situation. Instead of falling asleep, it will be more likely for me to pass away peacefully.
After entering the room, I spread the spare futon on the floor.
“Then, good night. I’ll sleep here, you can sleep in the bed over there.”
Saying that, I tried to jump onthe futon.
“Wait, wait, Jirou.”
Before I could do that, Konoe called out to me. Is it just me, or is she behaving more nervously than usual?
“Why won’t you sleep in your own bed?”
“Huh? Because this futon has been inside the wardrobe for so long. It’s dusty. So don’t be shy and just sleep in the bed.”
Konoe looked at my bed, insecurity reflected in her eyes.
Then she said “I just… can’t sleep like that…”
“Don’t tell me you can’t sleep unless I change the pillow…”
“It’s not exactly that, but… I just can’t sleep on your bed…”
For some reason, Konoe looked away from me, seemingly embarrassed. Why was she doing that? She didn’t want to sleep in my bed that badly? Actually, I thought it was quite comfortable.
“Then, you want to sleep here?”
“…Just drop it.”
After looking around awkwardly, she dove into my bed as if she had finally arrived at her conclusion.
What a strange way of sleeping. Not looking upwards nor downwards, just lying on the side. She turned her body towards the wall, as if trying to hide from my view.
“As expected, it smells like Jirou.”
“Huh? Of course it would. I sleep on it everyday.”
Without saying anything, Konoe continued hiding under the sheets, like a cat under a kotatsu(2). Maybe she just didn’t want me to see her sleeping face?
“Then, good night.”
After hearing an answer from under the blanket, I turned the lights off and dove onto the futon.
I really wanted to sleep, but the moment I closed my eyes, as I expected, something prevented me from calming down.
At first, I thought it was because of that ominous sheep, which made me think that I would end up getting tied up tonight. However, the actual reason was rather unexpected.
The smell of a sweet shampoo drifted into my nose.
Hmm, as expected of Kureha’s high class shampoo, it was very different from the cheap one I was using. How to put it? It was the smell of a girl.
This scent came directly from Konoe.
This is bad.
When I realized that, I suddenly became nervous. She was always dressing like a boy, but Konoe was a girl.
What are you doing, getting aroused by this scent? I–I have to calm down.Now that it has come to this, let’s just use the classical method. Let’s count sheep.
Of course, I was thinking about the normal ones which have wool and live on farms.
The embarrassing situation made me turn my back to Konoe just like she did, causing silence to descend upon the both of us.
Well… If I can’t focus myself, there’s no way I can sleep.
The sound of the ticking clock echoed through the room, making me wonder how much time had already passed.
Now, it was already past midnight.
I had never prayed this much for me to feel sleepy.
I could hear light breathing from the bed beside me.
That butler… What was she going on about not being able to sleep?
Well, she’d slept in a park last night, so she might be lacking sleep. But even so, she was way too relaxed! I went to sleep late last night, too, you know?
“…Actually, shouldn’t I have just slept on the sofa right from the beginning?”
Although it was already this late, I started mumbling to myself.
Well, maybe it wasn’t too late after all.
Maybe going to the sofa in the living room would help me sleep better.
I should just move right now.
Trying not to wake Konoe up, I got up from my futon, making no noise. I felt like I had become a ninja from Iga,(3) walking lightly and furtively.
Just when I was one step from leaving the room, I heard a soft voice behind me.
When I looked back, a single silhouette was standing up in the darkness. Konoe was now sitting up. This is bad, did I wake her up?
“Hmm… Jirou… Where are you going…?”
She musthave been very sleepy, because her voice was rather faint.
“Aaah… Just to the bathroom…”
Of course,that was a lie. If I told her that I was going to sleep on the sofa since I couldn’t sleep here, she might get concerned. Because, well, for the time being, she was my butler.
“…That’s a lie.”
But, even while drowsy, Butler-kun saw through my lie. Hmm, as expected of Subaru-sama. But getting exposed so easily… I give up, let’s just tell her the truth here…
“That’s what you’re telling me, but you’re planning to go to Ojou-sama’s room, right?”
“It’s useless to hide it… You pervert! If you want to go to Ojou-sama’s room, you’ll have get through me first.”
I should probably run.
That was what ran through my head at that moment.
A small arm pierced through the darkness and grabbed my neck, pressing my trachea to its limits. In the pro-wrestling world,the move would be called the ‘rear naked choke’.
“I won’t let you go… I won’t let… I will protect Ojou-sama…”
I could hear Konoe’s voice from close to my ear. Ugeh, she is more somnolent than I thought she was. I think she’s expecting me to launch a sneak attack on Suzutsuki’s room, just like the attack on Pearl Harbor.
“Stop that… I won’t go to Suzutsuki’s room.”
While barely breathing, I tried to persuade her, and the arms around my neck gradually lost their strength.
Aaah… I’m saved.
If she continued to wring my neck like that, I was going to get a one-way ticket on the limited express train to heaven. I drowsily tried to replenish all the oxygen I had lost.
“Maybe… Kureha-chan’s room?” This time, my upper body was wrapped by Konoe’s arms as if she was hugging me. “No matter how close you are, it’s wrong to lay your hands on your blood-related little sister.”
“What are you saying, you idiotic butler! There’s no way I’d do that… Wa—Oooooh!”
I felt like I was floating when I received that attack.
Surprisingly, Konoe was holding my body with both her hands.Then she pushed me backwards, causing me to hit my head on the floor.
It was a splendid throw.
Surprised, I tried to defend myself. I felt something soft. Luckily, I had fallen on my bed.
But the danger wasn’t over yet. Even though Konoe had pulled a perfect throw, she was still holding onto my body.
“Now that it has come to this, my victory is clear… I will make you faint from your gynophobia…”
Hiii. This butler… Despite being drowsy, her aim was very sharp.To think that she would use my weakness at this time.
Exactly as she claimed, she injectedstrength into the arms that were wrapped around my hips.
Th–This is bad.
The sweet smell of shampoo floated in the air. I could feel her breath on my neck. There was a soft feeling against my back… but her chest felt somewhat humble…
Don’t tell me she’s wearing a corset below her pajamas? Or is she not wearing anything at all, since it is nighttime? Because what I can feel under the clothes is…
I felt something warm in my nose.
Guhhaa. Just as I expected. If this keeps up, I will drown in a sea of red.
“Do you get it now? This is the true powerof a butler!”Konoe’s voice was slowly fading away.At the same time, I started hearing breathing indicative of deep sleep.
Looks like she fell back asleep from overusing her strength.
But her arms were still wrapped around me. My nose was already on tsunami alert. My nose was bleeding like the wild Amazon River, but I couldn’t just pass out like that.
If I just passed out like this, we would stay like this until morning, and I didn’t know what kind of misunderstanding that would cause when Konoe woke up. I wouldbe called a perverted pubescent boy and probably get chopped to bits by a chainsaw or something.
To ensure that wouldn’t happen, I needed to release myself from Konoe’s grip before I passed out.
Once I get my body free, I will go to the living room.
While holding onto that thought as if it were my only hope, I bit down on my lips, trying to resist the spasms and the soft feeling on my body.
Yeah. If I could just reach the living room, I wouldbe able to sleep—
(1) Something around the lines “Scary-cute”
(2) A low wooden frame covered by a futon or a heavy blanket where the table-top sits.
(3) Iga is a province in Japan, it is the home of Iga-ryu, one of the two most renamed schools of ninjustsu of Japan.