Chapter 2-4

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Volume 1

Chapter 2: The Love Romance Suddenly… – Part 4

So far I’d been lucky and there hadn’t been any problems.

I had been expecting the girls of the class to stab me with a knife, saying such things as “Ahaha… It’s your fault… since you laid hands on my Subaru-sama,” but when Konoe and I arrived at the classroom, no such thing happened. The class did not react to the event at all. It was so calm that it started to feel creepy.

From what I had heard from Kurose, this was the calm before the storm. The information that Konoe and I had gone to eat lunch together had already spread all over the academy, and the biggest Konoe fan faction – S4 – had sent an assault force to apprehend me.

But on the verge of the assault, an intervention group had appeared.

Their name was the ‘Let’s warmly protect Subaru-Sama committee’. They were comprised of Konoe’s fans that left S4 and created a new faction on other words a schism.

This group’s intention was to monitor Konoe’s behavior before making a judgment.

At first I felt relieved that even in the middle of Konoe’s fans, there were serious people – but I soon learned the truth.

The ‘Let’s warmly protect Subaru-Sama committee’ was… well… a group of girls that had that kind of hobby.

In other words, it was a group of fujoshi(1).

In a fearsome move, they had already made a group to produce BL stories involving me and Konoe. How did they get that idea? This is much too half-hearted.

Anyway, the actual situation was that these two factions were in a cold war.

They would soon have a real war, so until that happened, dealing with me was put on hold. I was relieved, but at the same time I was feeling somewhat confused, as if I had been sent to a colony during the Second World War.

Fortunately, the boys would simply be watching this battle from the sidelines. Kurose also didn’t really believe that Konoe and I had that kind of relationship, but he did ask, “Did you two already kiss?” For the time being, I punched him in the stomach.

And then, after school, it was time for the decisive battle. Finally, the treatment program for my gynophobia headed by Suzutsuki Kanade would start.

“—And? Why a game center?” I asked Suzutsuki, who was on the other end of the phone.

“Ara, would it have been better if it was at a hotel? Even though I thought that this would be the right level for a first date.” The voice was speaking freely.

Is there any kind of spell that I can use to blow up a person over the phone? If there’s anyone who knows one, I urgently need them to teach me. For the sake of world peace, I have to somehow bury this ojou-sama.

“I said it before, didn’t I? That your gynophobia was a result of your continuous fear of women. So, to get rid of your phobia, we will need you to get used to normal girls.

That’s why she forced me on this date.

That’s why I was in front of a game center in the city neighboring the one that Konoe and I go to school in. Once school had ended, I had received a call from Suzutsuki telling me to come here.

Well, as expected, we didn’t have the courage to go to the game center close to the academy. It wouldn’t be strange for my name to bewritten in a shinigami(2) note if someone from the academy saw us in our current situation.

Yeah, I’m on a date with that Subaru-sama.

I was more surprised that Konoe would do this much for me. Even though it was on Suzutsuki’s orders, to have to go on a date with me… And yesterday she was so hostile to me… I wonder if there’s a reason.

“By the way, where are you right now?” I asked Suzutsuki, who was still on the other end of the call.

When I arrived, there was only Konoe (who was, for some strange reason, carrying an enormous sports bag over her shoulder) waiting for me.

“If you want to know about me, I am in a nearby manga café reading [Jo*o’s Bizarre Adventure] since it would be rude of me to intrude on your alone time.”

Good for you. I also want to read Jo*o!

“Then, shall we start? First, Subaru, try touching Jirou-kun’s body.”

“Understood, Ojou-sama.”

Konoe carefully reached out towards my chest. It felt like she was disarming a time bomb. Carefully, Konoe touched my fingertips with her own.

“So, how is it?”

“How’s what?”

“Aren’t you feeling horny?”

“Like I would! How ‘hungry’ do you think I am?”

“This is strange… I was sure that I had mixed it in with the bread you bought.”

“What did you mix in there?”

“Buf*beep*rin.”(3)

“Buf*beep*rin? Why would you use such a medicine?”

“You are just another modern person with a sick heart. That’s why you need the tenderness of the Buf*beep*rin.”

“Why are you suddenly talking so seriously?”

“One of my acquaintances drank Buf*beep*rin and grew 5 centimeters. Also, there are people who were ‘shut-ins’ and underwent a successful rehabilitation because of it.

“That has nothing to do with Buf*beep*rin!”

“—That tenderness… will save the world.”

“Don’t try to end everything with such forced cool words!”

*Brik* The cellphone screen made a sound. That was close; I almost crushed the device.

“Let’s stop messing around now.”

This just now was messing around? I wondered how powerful her straight act would be. I was starting to worry about the conclusion of the conversation.

“How is it, Jirou-kun? Did you start having a nosebleed?”

“What? No, I didn’t.”

I wiped my face, but as expected, I was completely unhurt.

“This is kind of strange. You do realize that you just touched a girl?”

“Ah…”

Now that she said that… I was being touched by Konoe—by a girl, but my body didn’t have the slightest reaction.

“As I thought. Somewhere in your mind, you have yet to recognize Subaru as a girl. That’s why you didn’t develop any symptoms from being touched. Then, we’ll use another method.” Suzutsuki took a breath. “Then, mission start. Start by takingoff your clothes, Subaru.”

“Roger, Ojou-sama.”

“Wait a momeeeeent!”

I leaned over and yelled with all my might.

“What is wrong, Jirou-kun? This is for your sake.”

“Shut up! You are jumping several steps right from the start! What are you trying to make your butler do?”

Telling her to take her clothes off in this place with a lot of people… I wonder why this girl thinks about such dangerous things. Maybe there’s a nuclear missile installed in her head?

“What are you saying? When did I tell her to undress here?”

“Heh?”

When I looked back at Konoe, she was going into the game center. This would really generate a legal problem…

“Don’t worry, she will undress in the bathroom.”

“Heh? What you mean by that?”

“Fufu, this plan is perfect. You don’t recognize Subaru as a girl yet, so this is very favorable. If you dated a normal girl from the start, the stimulus would be too strong.”

“I understand that. In other words, you want me to get acclimated bit by bit, right?”

Like training with auxiliary wheels on a bike. From what I understood, the plan was to start with the Konoe that I still didn’t recognize as a woman and get used to her touch step by step.

“But why are you making Konoe undress?”

“Soon, you will understand. But in the meantime—”

“In the meantime?”

“Don’t pass out from the shock, okay?”

“Hah?”

I didn’t understand what she meant, but a few minutes later the meaning became clear.

Konoe came out of the game center wearing a RouranAcademy girl’s uniform.

“—”

Crap! I could certainly pass out from the shock.

She was extremely cute. Below the skirt, there were slender legs. Wearing knee long socks, she had beautiful leg lines that stood out. Maybe it was because she was even wearing a ribbon in her hair, but with these looks, she really did radiate a feminine feeling. Rather, it suited her incredibly well. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that she was born just for the sake of wearing this uniform.

“Looks like Subaru is back. Are you okay? Are you keeping your senses?”

“Aah… Somehow.”

I see, so that was the reason for that sports bag. She prepared a change of clothes just for this occasion. I’m amazed.

“Somehow… I have the feeling that even her breasts are bigger.”

I murmured that in a tone that Konoe couldn’t hear.

“It’s because of the corset. Normally, Subaru holds her breasts back with a corset, even if it’s not so useful. Right now, she is wearing a padded bra.

“I see…”

Wait a second. Isn’t a corset a hard object? Yesterday when I touched her breasts, I’m sure that they were soft.

“By the way, yesterday, Subaru forgot to put on the corset. So what you touched yesterday in the science room was—”

“It’s okay, Suzutsuki. Don’t tell me any more than this.”

The memories in my head and my own senses were clashing inside of my brain like the battle of Dan-no-ura(4). Good luck, senses. If you lose here, I will fall off the path of a normal person.

“Then, Jirou-kun, let’s continue. Starting now, you will have a date at the game center with Subaru in this appearance. If something happens, please contact me.”

“Hey, wait, Suzutsuki! Don’t cut the call!”

Being alone with today’s Konoe is dangerous. Konoe in these clothes doesn’t look like anything but a girl! Actually, she is a girl. I better get used to this, or the game center will be dyed a bloody color.

“Work hard, okay? I can’t release my hands right now…”

“What? Did something happen in the manga café?”

“Err… A serious situation. The Nara*cia inside Gio*no’s body is going to… ”(5)

“For the time being, stop reading Jo*o!”

This girl was far too relaxed. While I was about to be overwhelmed by the situation, she was just enjoying the manga-café. That’s an ojou-sama for you.

*Tuu* The line was cut. Damn it, Devil Suzutsuki! She prioritized a manga over me!

“Hey… Jirou. I wonder… Is it strange…?” Konoe asked while fiddling with her very short skirt.

“Aa, aah. This suits you really well.”

As proof, people’s stares started gathering here. I was truly happy that we didn’t have any acquaintances here.

“I wonder… To tell you the truth, this uniform… I have always wanted to wear it at least once…” Konoe was happily turning around while waving her skirt.

I thought that she must have really wanted to wear girls’ clothes. Normally, she would have no opportunities to wear them since she was living as a man.

“Then let’s go! Let’s cure Jirou’s phobia!”

Subaru-sama energetically ran towards the entrance of the game center. I followed her and entered behind her. This is an absolutely radical treatment, right?

“Jirou, what is this?”

Upon entering the game center, Konoe fixed her eyes on the crane game. Maybe this was her first time in a game center.

“This game is called ‘UFO Catcher’. You insert money, and then you use your ability to catch the things inside.”

“Oh!”

No matter how you looked at it, she didn’t hear my explanation. Konoe was drooling on the glass case like a girl with her eyes on a dress.

I wondered what she was so interested in and took a peek. Inside the glass case, there was a pile of [Silent Sheep] stuffed toys.

“…”

Hey, is that really okay?

The design was that of a cute, deformed sheep, but if you looked closely, you would notice a sharpened burr. And around the mouth, there was something red leaking. I didn’t know why, but when I looked at it, I started to remember that doctor that appeared in that movie. Your favorite food isn’t humans, is it?

“…So cute…”

With this behavior, even I could tell that she liked it. She had some unexpectedly girlish tastes, but those tastes were also a bit weird.

It looked like she wanted it so much that when I asked, “Do you want me to grab it?” she nodded intensely. Since it had been a long time since I last played, it took me a thousand yen, but I was able to get that ominous sheep. When I gave it to her…

“Uwaa…! So cute…!”

Aah, very cute indeed… But so are you.

Just from seeing this smile, I started to think that it was worth spending a thousand yen. But thanks to that, I would have to say good bye to the CD that I had been planning to buy this month. If it kept going on like this, I would bankrupt myself. Taking this butler on a date didn’t come cheap.

“…?”

Thinking about it, I remembered the existence of that. I took a ticket from my pocket, the [Butler Ticket] from before. I wonder if I can really use this.

“Hey, Konoe. Do you know what this is?”

When I showed the [Butler Ticket] to Konoe who was hugging the stuffed toy… her expression suddenly froze.

“This is impossible… Why do you have that?”

“Why, you ask… Obviously, Suzutsuki gave it to me… More importantly, is it true that you will obey any order I give if I use this?”

“…”

Konoe became silent and her face turned completely pale.

I see, looks like it’s true. What should I do? Should I use it in this opportunity? Err, according to the explanation that is written on the ticket… the moment it’s torn apart, a master-slave contract is established.

I ripped the ticket apart.

When I did that, she awkwardly smiled.

“What… What are your orders, Master?”

“….”

Aah, err… What should I say…? This is dangerous! This has more destructive power than I thought. She even called me ‘Master’. I can’t… I can’t… I feel like I could step down the wrong path if this keeps up.

“Look, Konoe is now my butler, right?”

“Ye… Yes… Just like you said… Master.”

Konoe’s eyelids were trembling. It looked like she wasn’t used to being ordered around by anybody besides Suzutsuki. Well, I didn’t want to make some unreasonable request here, so…

Let’s issue a small order.

“Try saying ‘meeh’.”

“What?”

The butler replied with an expression that said that she couldn’t believe that her Master had given such an order.

“Geez, I told you to say ‘meeh’. You like sheep, don’t you? That’s why it should be simple.”

“…”

After a silent moment, she moved her trembling lips, and then, with her eyes full of tears: ”Me, meeh~.”

She mewled like a little sheep that was being attacked by a wolf.

That was a good performance.

I wonder why, but I have the feeling that I did something I shouldn’t have done.

Even though Konoe likes sheep, it seems she doesn’t enjoy acting like one. Why are you looking at me with the eyes of someone who wants revenge for his parents?

“…Master.”

“What? The effects of the Butler Ticket are already gone, so you can go back to normal now.”

“—No, what are you saying… I am Master’s butler, right?”

“…”

What a problem. She had an ear-to-ear smile, but her eyes weren’t smiling even a bit!

“Aah, Master. There’s dust on your head.”

“Huh? No, stop, Konoe! If it’s just dust, then I can take care of it myself.”

Soon, the distance between me and Konoe was closed. I was so nervous that I was covered in goose bumps. Then, Konoe’s face was very close, so close that I could have kissed her like this.

“Is there something wrong, Master? You are trembling so much… Are you cold? If that is the case, should I warm you up?”

She said that right into my ear. This won’t work. The inside of my nose was beginning to tingle – the sign that my nosebleed was about to start.

“So- sorry. My bad! I apologize! I didn’t want you to act like a herbivorous animal! So please, don’t get any closer to me! If you continue any further, I will faint…”

“Calm down, Master.” The butler was smiling tenderly like the Virgin Mary. “Do you think that I will forgive you if you simply faint?”

Aah. I fear that once I lose my consciousness, an even worse punishment will be waiting for me. I want to at least not be tied up and suspended when I wake up, I thought.

“Gyaha!”

A shock attacked my body – a drop kick. My body was thrown aside from the shock of that energetic surprise attack.

While surprised by the unprovoked attack, I tried to fall safely and rolled across the floor of the game center.

My vision was spinning. Inside of it, the one who had given me a great drop kick to the side of my head was a good-looking girl in a short skirt – Sakamachi Kureha.

There’s no way I’d be mistaken. This was the arrival of my little sister.

“Ku-kureha! What are you doing here?” I asked while I shifted my glasses. My neck was squeaking. It was an attack that should have broken the bones of a normal person.

“’What are you doing?’ is what I want to ask, Nii-san!”

The voice of my little sister was trembling with rage.

“There was a strange rumor at the academy… I heard that Nii-san was going out with a guy. I thought that there was no way that it could be true, but since I was so worried, I followed you from the academy.”

“You followed… Were you tailing us?”

Like a stalker. Stalking your brother, that’s not a laughing matter.

“Yeah. And then… I never thought that such a thing would happen. Well, how about you say something, Konoe-senpai?”

Konoe’s body was trembling due to Kureha’s words.

Damn. No matter how you look at Konoe now, she is a girl. If someone sees her, they’ll notice immediately. If the truth that Subaru-sama is a girl is spread…

“I never thought that you had such a secret…” Kureha pointed to Konoe like a great detective that had solved a trick. Then she firmly asserted. “To think that you were a pervert that liked to cross-dress as a girl!”

“Huh?” Konoe and I both released completely surprised voices.

I’m glad. I’m so glad that my little sister is an idiot. It seems as if we were able to avoid the worst situation.

“I thought that something was strange ever since you came to our house this morning! You thieving cat! You’re tricking my Nii-san!”

“Wait, what are you saying, you idiot! There’s no way that—”

“Nii-san, you be quiet.” Kureha stopped my words like a school teacher.

“Everything…! I was watching everything! The moment that Nii-san gave a stuffed toy to the cross-dressing Konoe-senpai, the moment that you two came so close that you could hug each other… And the most extreme was…” Large tear drops started accumulating in my sister’s eyes. “The kiss… You tried kissing even though the two of you are boys!”

It’s over. Something inside my heart announced that.

Well, now that I stop to think, Kureha has always had a wild imagination. From my experience, I can tell that now that it has come to this point she will soon run rampant and won’t listen to anyone.

“Konoe-senpai… No matter how cute you are… Even if you are the cutest boy in the academy…Trying to seduce my brother…”

It felt like I was looking at a ticking time-bomb.

“Give back… Give my Nii-san back!” My little sister exploded.

At the same time she screamed, she started speeding like a bullet in Konoe’s direction!

By the time I tried to warn her, Konoe’s body had already started moving.

That was probably a reflexive movement to defend her own body. Kureha was coming in a straight line. Konoe released her restrained left fist…

“Don’t take me so lightly!”

Kureha avoided Konoe’s fist with the slightest of movements. Next, she grabbed Konoe’s wrist, and then she entwined her feet as if to send the butler flying away.

A jumping arm bar. That was undoubtedly the name of that technique. Since I was the one used as a guinea pig for it, I could clearly tell.

Submission.

Kureha was calmly trying to decide Konoe’s moves.

Konoe had lost her balance and was lying on the ground. Now that things had turned out like this, the rest was easy to predict. Kureha would stretch the arm that she had grabbed and completely break Konoe’s elbow!

“This is the true power of the Rouran Academy Handicrafts Club!” Kureha yelled as if she had already won.

No, a normal member of the handicrafts club would never be able to execute such a submission technique to that degree. I tried using sarcasm, but this wasn’t the time for that.

As expected from Kureha, she hadn’t just been playing with me for over ten years. But if it kept on like this, Konoe’s arm would really…

It was at the moment that I thought that Kureha’s technique had already been successful.

*Swap* Konoe turned her body. Surprisingly, she rolled her body forward by herself and used that rotational power to break out of Kureha’s lock.

“Hehh…” Kureha’s face was showing consternation. Maybe she was irritated from having her arm lock thrown off, but she was a moment late in regaining her posture.

And in that moment… Konoe didn’t let her escape.

A middle kick.

A strong middle kick was released right into Kureha’s face when she was rising from a kneeling position.

“Gyaaa!”

She somehow made a guard with both her arms, but the strength behind that kick was so large that the moment she received it, she was sent flying back.

“He- hey, Kureha!”

I ran next to my little sister, who was lying on the ground.

Kureha was lying down in the shape of the kanji for ‘big’(6)with a shocked expression.

Looking at her speechless face, I realized that the shock was not from the kick’s damage, but from the fact that her submission technique had been so easily broken and that she was blown away right after that.

“Wh-what, what is this…? This… This is cheating!”

After saying those words, she was still for a moment.

“Uwaaa!” Then Kureha cried and ran out of the game center.

Konoe and I were only able to watch, dumbfounded.

♀x♂

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TRANSLATION NOTES

(1) A fujoshi is a female fan of yaoi, or “boy’s love” (BL) culture.
(2) God of death. A shinigami note is basically a Death Note.
(3) A reference to Bufferin, a medicine used to treat pain, fevers, inflammation, and sore throats.
(4) Wikipedia has good references.
(5) Reference from Jojo here.
(6) 大

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